I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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