Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
