garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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