am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
