so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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