The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
