I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I touched a dick in church today
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
