WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize