Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
