I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
