this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
