i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize