i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
