Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
love makes seman taste better
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
