well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
