My Higher Power is John Stamos
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
