I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
