can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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