Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
