Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
