can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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