Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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