Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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