your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
