We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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