winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
