the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize