It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
