the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
