Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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