if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Panties = found
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
