I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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