another moral hangover. fuck.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
