dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Randomize
