Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize