and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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