Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
