Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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