im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You were trust falling into bushes
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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