Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
