What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
