so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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