Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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