youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
