If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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