Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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