Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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