I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
