I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
