I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
