therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it was like eating out sand paper
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
