So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
