She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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