Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
