Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
