Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Too much gin, very little bucket
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
