i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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