either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize