bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
