theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
