I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Randomize
