Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
