Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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