Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize