Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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