she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ugly people sure do ruin things
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
