So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
