p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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