called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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